Marriage-A Must Read

This story was written by a man who learned a hard lesson on marriage. It is thought provoking. Please take the time to read it.

Marriage…A Must Read

MARRIAGE

When I got home that night as my wife served dinner, I held her hand and said, I’ve got something to tell you. She sat down and ate quietly. Again I observed the hurt in her eyes.

Suddenly I didn’t know how to open my mouth. But I had to let her know what I was thinking. I want a divorce. I raised the topic calmly.

She didn’t seem to be annoyed by my words, instead she asked me softly, why?

I avoided her question. This made her angry. She threw away the chopsticks and shouted at me, you are not a man! That night, we didn’t talk to each other. She was weeping. I knew she wanted to find out what had happened to our marriage. But I could hardly give her a satisfactory answer; she had lost my heart to Jane. I didn’t love her anymore. I just pitied her!

With a deep sense of guilt, I drafted a divorce agreement which stated that she could own our house, our car, and 30% stake of my company.

She glanced at it and then tore it into pieces. The woman who had spent ten years of her life with me had become a stranger. I felt sorry for her wasted time, resources and energy but I could not take back what I had said for I loved Jane so dearly. Finally she cried loudly in front of me, which was what I had expected to see. To me her cry was actually a kind of release. The idea of divorce which had obsessed me for several weeks seemed to be firmer and clearer now.

The next day, I came back home very late and found her writing something at the table. I didn’t have supper but went straight to sleep and fell asleep very fast because I was tired after an eventful day with Jane.

When I woke up, she was still there at the table writing. I just did not care so I turned over and was asleep again.

In the morning she presented her divorce conditions: she didn’t want anything from me, but needed a month’s notice before the divorce. She requested that in that one month we both struggle to live as normal a life as possible. Her reasons were simple: our son had his exams in a month’s time and she didn’t want to disrupt him with our broken marriage.

This was agreeable to me. But she had something more, she asked me to recall how I had carried her into out bridal room on our wedding day.

She requested that every day for the month’s duration I carry her out of our bedroom to the front door ever morning. I thought she was going crazy. Just to make our last days together bearable I accepted her odd request.

I told Jane about my wife’s divorce conditions. . She laughed loudly and thought it was absurd. No matter what tricks she applies, she has to face the divorce, she said scornfully.

My wife and I hadn’t had any body contact since my divorce intention was explicitly expressed. So when I carried her out on the first day, we both appeared clumsy. Our son clapped behind us, daddy is holding mommy in his arms. His words brought me a sense of pain. From the bedroom to the sitting room, then to the door, I walked over ten meters with her in my arms. She closed her eyes and said softly; don’t tell our son about the divorce. I nodded, feeling somewhat upset. I put her down outside
the door. She went to wait for the bus to work. I drove alone to the office.

On the second day, both of us acted much more easily. She leaned on my chest. I could smell the fragrance of her blouse. I realized that I hadn’t looked at this woman carefully for a long time. I realized she was not young any more. There were fine wrinkles on her face, her hair was graying! Our marriage had taken its toll on her. For a minute I wondered what I had done to her.

On the fourth day, when I lifted her up, I felt a sense of intimacy returning. This was the woman who had given ten years of her life to me.

On the fifth and sixth day, I realized that our sense of intimacy was growing again. I didn’t tell Jane about this. It became easier to carry her as the month slipped by. Perhaps the everyday workout made me stronger.

She was choosing what to wear one morning. She tried on quite a few dresses but could not find a suitable one. Then she sighed, all my dresses have grown bigger. I suddenly realized that she had grown so thin, that was the reason why I could carry her more easily.

Suddenly it hit me… she had buried so much pain and bitterness in her heart. Subconsciously I reached out and touched her head.

Our son came in at the moment and said, Dad, it’s time to carry mom out. To him, seeing his father carrying his mother out had become an essential part of his life. My wife gestured to our son to come closer and hugged him tightly. I turned my face away because I was afraid I might change my mind at this last minute. I then held her in my arms, walking from the bedroom, through the sitting room, to the hallway. Her hand surrounded my neck softly and naturally. I held her body tightly; it was just like our wedding day.

But her much lighter weight made me sad. On the last day, when I held her in my arms I could hardly move a step. Our son had gone to school. I held her tightly and said, I hadn’t noticed that our life lacked intimacy.

I drove to office…. jumped out of the car swiftly without locking the door. I was afraid any delay would make me change my mind…I walked upstairs. Jane opened the door and I said to her, Sorry, Jane, I do not want the divorce anymore.

She looked at me, astonished, and then touched my forehead. Do you have a fever? She said. I moved her hand off my head. Sorry, Jane, I said, I won’t divorce. My marriage life was boring probably because she and I didn’t value the details of our lives, not because we didn’t love each other anymore. Now I realize that since I carried her into my home on our wedding day I am supposed to hold her until death do us apart.

Jane seemed to suddenly wake up. She gave me a loud slap and then slammed the door and burst into tears. I walked downstairs and drove away.

At the floral shop on the way, I ordered a bouquet of flowers for my wife. The salesgirl asked me what to write on the card. I smiled and wrote, I’ll carry you out every morning until death do us apart.

That evening I arrived home, flowers in my hands, a smile on my face, I run up stairs, only to find my wife in the bed – dead.
My wife had been fighting CANCER for months and I was so busy with Jane to even notice. She knew that she would die soon and she wanted to save me from the whatever negative reaction from our son, in case we push thru with the divorce.– At least, in the eyes of our son— I’m a loving husband….

The small details of your lives are what really matter in a relationship. It is not the mansion, the car, property, the money in the bank. These create an environment conducive for happiness but cannot give happiness in themselves. So find time to be your spouse’s friend and do those little things for each other that build intimacy. Do have a real happy marriage!

Many of life’s failures are people who did not realize how close they were to success when they gave up.

A CHRIST-CENTERED MARRIAGE IS A MARRIAGE THAT IS SURE TO LAST A LIFETIME.

So then, they are no longer two but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, let not man separate. Matthew 19:6

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God’s Love Revealed Even in Animals

FOXNews.com

Shot Horse Saved from Death by Licks of Other Horses

Tuesday , May 18, 2010

ncore

A horse shot twice with a crossbow by unknown vandals survived after four fellow mares spent three hours taking turns — to lick the wound clean, The Sun reported Tuesday.

The 20-year-old horse, Zeta, was in critical condition after one of the arrows bounced off her rib, while another lodged an inch from her lung as she grazed in a field in the U.K. Owner Jo Young, 39, said the four other horses saved Zeta’s life.

“It was really touching that when she was found the other horses in the field were nuzzling her for comfort and licking the wound,” Young said. “They kept the wound clean which would have prevented it from being infected by bacteria. It also helped to stem the blood flow.”

“There was definitely a herd instinct kicking in among the horses. They knew Zeta was in need and they rallied round to save her,” he said………….

Copyright 2010 FOX News Network, LLC. All rights reserved.
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This article spoke to my heart.  We have an amazing GOD who put the caring and nurturing of a needy individual even in the animals.  I read this story and it reminded me of the need to always be there to love and comfort our friends (and even others we don’t know) when there is a need. 

I struggle with knowing when a person’s need is real and when it might be a scam.  I know if I see someone have a car accident or fall down or some type of visible need then I help without a second thought.  But what do I do when someone who is a stranger to me approaches me with a need?  My flight or fight reaction kicks in and most of the time, I am ashamed to admit, I refuse and hurry on my way.  But GOD has put it on my heart twice recently that there may be instances I need to help and let HIM handle the results.  If the person does not use the help to buy  a necessary item such as food or if they really do not need a room to stay in  because there vehicle really didn’t break down then I would feel used and would be more likely to refuse next time I am asked.  But what if I helped and turned it over to the LORD and let HIM determine the consequences if the “help” was misused?  Could this small act of obedience to God to help another possibly be the spark that opens that persons’ heart and mind to the Love of GOD

I will pray for wisdom the next time a need is brought to my attention.  I want to be used to show GOD‘s love to others, not as a stumbling block. 

I want to have a heart for JESUS!

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Listening to Others

Finally, a place I can talk (well write actually) and not be interrupted.  I am not a ‘talker’ but do like to share my thoughts and feelings at times.  I have found throughout my life that most people like to talk but don’t listen when others talk.  I believe God blessed me with the gift of a compassionate heart and listening ear.  I like listening to others when they need to vent, to share a laugh or even just to express themselves as reassurance that they are indeed an important and valuable human being.  The world beats us down but a friend who listens can be an encouragement and a validating source for others.  So I take my blessing of listening to others that God has given to me very seriously.

On the other hand though, even good listeners need to be heard sometimes.  So for all you ‘talkers’, take a deep breath and give us that ‘listen’ a chance to be heard sometimes!

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